Since When is Protecting and Shaming Remotely the Same Thing?


Oh how I wanted to get in on this!!!! I’m so excited. Okay so check it. The first thing that strikes me on this story is I’m surprised that I don’t know this woman. This video has been seen by 10 million people globally, as a mom corrects her daughter from posting provocative pictures on Facebook.  Denver has plenty of Black folk but I guess I was under the false impression that I knew them all, lol, or I was at least only one person removed from them all. If you were born and raised here and moved around as much as I did, it’s not surprising that I know a whole lot of folk. I share 300 or more mutual friends with many of my Facebook friends, all of which are based in or are from Denver, and the overwhelming majority of them are of the chocolate variety. It’s not uncommon for a Black native to walk into a function and know 5 other Black folk in the crowd, all from 5 different places. But there’s clearly more of us here than I’m giving Denver credit for. I’ve never met Val Starks, the supermom in this now viral video. But I’m proud that she is getting the acclaim that she is as I believe she is representing Denver well. But I digress.

This mother in this video… she is the bomb. Point. Blank. And the period. For anyone who feels that she went too far in the “public shaming” needs to raise a teenager or at least be in close proximity to one. This mama is getting a hold of her daughter before media influences do. We live in a social media age, so if this young girl took to social media to act in ways that are more advanced than her young years, then her mother took the right steps in trying to avoid a possible collision with choices this 13 year old baby is not prepared for.

We parents have to take great measures to protect our children from all sorts of things. Many of which we did not have to remotely deal with when we were in their shoes. The youth of today have to take their social media choices very seriously. There are minors getting sex offender charges left and right for acting in “innocent” ways like sending nude pictures via text or email. Let me repeat that, felonies for dumb kids being being dumb kids. It happens regularly across racial and economic lines, in every US city. In this new social, tweeting, texting, twerking, and instant exposure environment, that we adults never had to deal with during our most vulnerable years, parents must take extreme steps to assure that our children are protected from themselves.

Trust me there are many a 40 year old woman who had a mother who let them run the streets, that now wishes they received more structure and guidance, thus protection. Adolescence is that time of life when you have all the equipment to make adult decisions without having the manuals to operate your equipment. Life changing decisions are made during this crucial time of life that stay with us for the entire span of the rest of our lives. This mother knows that. She is trying to avoid her daughter from being a modern day Monica Lewinsky as she is the only one with proper view of life between she and her young daughter. Sidebar, she’s raising a girl. That just registered with someone. Back in the day you had to protect your girls from the weird dude down the street, now you have to protect your daughter from the anonymous predator on that one dating site who is 57 but posing to be 17. He is just as weird as the dude down the street, but a lot more menacing as he has no face and only goes by Anonymous. That’s the dude looking at the little girl in lace panties. So props to this mama. She did that! As for the rest of us who lived to make it through to adulthood, let us be grateful that those days were prior to the internet. Val Starks you give me life!

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