“What if I gave you diamonds, out of my womb? Would you see the love in that, or ask why not the moon?” Jill Scott penned these words I’m sure after going through an episode of the well known drama The Young, The Restless, and The Ungrateful.
But before I go on let me say this, you may want to know this before you read any further. These words will not be for everybody. If you’re a taker the following words wont mean much to you. But if you are one who gives to a fault only to be reminded of what you have not given, if you are one who’s efforts go regularly underappreciated, then these words to you will be golden.
Givers- we come in all sorts of packages, the oldest sibling, the boss, the leader, the caretaker, the mom, those roles where people expect to receive from you, but very seldom show appreciation for you. I have been in this position for as long as my age has been in double digits. What I find consistently is the tendency of growing weary. Not out of just mere fatigue, but from that time and then that; next time that you gave and it wasn’t enough, or you sacrificed to only receive criticism or complaint. That time just passed the last time you were disrespected, disregarded, or dismissed. The promises made and then broken in manners that you could never bring yourself to offer others. That time when you were there for them, and they were no where to be found when it was your turn to receive back. Yes, I know. Anyone clothed in skin can reach a place of exhaustion and question the purpose of it all. Its these moments when we’re most fragile, those moments when we could become bitter, and just stop giving altogether. You cant tell me that Mother Teresa, Mandela, and Gandhi didn’t reach those moments. But to change such a central part of yourself, to no longer be a giver, would be cutting off your nose to spite our face.
Being a giver is part of who you are. To loose it would be loosing a part of yourself, like loosing a limb. You cannot allow that. The gift of giving gives back to you in ways tangible and intangible. You may not reap where you’ve sown, but you will reap, it’s a must. Never give up on giving. Make better decisions on who to offer your gifts, yes. Create and set healthy boundaries around yourself, yes. But stop giving, no! You cannot allow selfish, needy, self absorbed,underdeveloped people to change who you are. They are only mere distractions to the beauty within you, to the doors being opened before you because of your gifts, to the blessings you receive just by being you. You have to be present and in full package in order to receive what is coming for you. Your dreams, vision, destiny, purpose are all because you are a giver. Those doors that open because you’ve created paths for others, simply stand and walk through them.
SIDE NOTE: It’s so funny how things get confirmed. I began writing this entry before I got some sad news. A mentor of mine, a spiritual mom passed away last night. She was an encourager, an uplifter. It’s amazing how she showed up at times and in moments that could only have been prompted by the Holy Spirit. She poured into me at low points, she would reach out to just check in. She was my confirmation of the very principle that I wrote about here, that my giving to others returned to me in great ways, in moments of the most need. She will forever be missed, and I am honored to have known her and been touched by her. Rest in Paradise Ms. Sylvia Penny. Thank you for being a giver and giving me the courage to keep on giving.