Temporarily Offline…

a

This is a smidge outdated, posted this a month ago on social media, I’m actually back, but I was gone for a while. Here’s a glimpse as to why…

#RealTalk #AutismMom #TemporarilyOffline
I’m an Autism mom and I CANNOT STAY ON TOP OF ALL THINGS AT ALL TIMES. #Revelation
The overwhelming majority of people dont even know what Autism is. It’s something they’ve heard about, or it’s something that they read about. Or they know someone who has a neighbor, who has a child who has a neighbor with Autism. Ultimately they dont know what Autism is. As my child sits weeks from the 1 year anniversary of receiving his diagnosis, I am still learning myself, and that’s with countless hours of research behind me. But today I just made a decision.

I have to press through more than what most people have to, but none the less I have to press through. I cannot stay on top of every little detail of every little thing like I use to be obsessed with doing. Because I am always preoccupied with staying on top of every little detail of my son’s development, behavior, skills, communication, safety, safety (I had to say that one twice), eating, grooming…. constantly. And yet I have my own personal goals that I have to hold tight to too, all while being in continual utter exhaustion.

Here’s how I’m pressing through today: This weekend my website server and domain were expiring. https://tiffanyepiphany.net/ I knew they were and renewing them has been on a long list of things to take care of before Monday morning. But on Friday after working, visiting a respite facility, texting teachers, filling out apps, returning emails and kissing boo boos, my business was outweighed by Caleb’s business. I’ve learned the hard way that I have to rest at some point, so that was Saturday. On Sunday we were up early, there was cooking, chores, church, grocery shopping and two other errands. By 7pm I couldnt see straight from exhaustion and my website still didnt get paid for.

Now check this, the website went offline at 12 midnight this morning, which happens to be the same 24 hour period that one of my tweets (about Vicki Yohe) is trending on Twitter. There’s about 5000 impressions to my tweet which rendered 700 visits to my blog yesterday. THE MOST I’VE EVER RECEIVED TO THIS SITE IN A DAY. This morning my website has gone off line because I didnt pay for it over the weekend. And it may not be live for another 24 hours. #Heartbroken I thought to myself, what perfect timing! This is completely THE WORST day this could have happened. Anyone who is an artist, or an author, or any type of creative knows that exposure is the only way that you will ever be able to get paid doing what you love. So needless to say this is pretty devastating to me.

But just before I burst into tears assuming that I had just lost 2 years of my work, the Holy Spirit whispered, “Calm down. It’s going to be ok.” Then I had a conversation with myself. You are not making excuses, you are not irresponsible. You were really busy taking care of Caleb’s business that you didnt get to yours, and that’s ok. So now pick yourself up, fix this, and move on into your own business girl. I will not be so hard on myself. I have a son with major needs and I am the only one who is 24/7/52/365 providing them for him. I will also not turn to a bed of depression and not get up because it’s all on me. I will allow things to go temporarily offline sometimes so that Caleb’s love, kisses, hugs, care, play, affection, and development never go offline. Then I will pick up my briefcase and pursue my own dreams ALSO. This is an adjustment for this Type A personality girl, this not being on top of all things at all times. But I was given this mountain because I’ve been entrusted with the ability to climb it. #ItsNotJustGoingToBeOkItAlreadyIs
#ImASingleAutismMomWhatsYourSuperpower

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s