(#MothersDay… it is just another day, because #goodmothers deserve so much more than one day of celebration. Today I am nursing a #migraine and as in countless times, I am still #mothering today. What better day to reflect on the real meaning of mother… so I wrote this..)
Through ailment, weariness, fatigue… non-stop mothering. It only means a microwaved meal as opposed to a cooked one, because the food must make it to the table. That’s what mother means.
Today #Autism is still present, and although I need quiet, my son will still pace, spin, and whistle throughout every livable space. That’s what mother means.
When sleep is fleeting and my child’s energy overtakes the need to rest, I still rise to the challenges of the day. That’s what mother means.
In my regular efforts in prevention, preventing colds, preventing accidents, preventing injuries, this overwhelming need for safety is not license to deny my child hugs and kisses. That’s what mother means.
And while I stretch my resources to cover mountains of responsibilities,
After I maintain the car and take out the trash- those chores I despise, off to work I must go, barging through all manners of sexism and racism.
I complete menial tasks with dishes and laundry, when my feet ache and my mind is spinning. That’s what mother means.
I am mother. I am single mother. I am special needs mother. I’m kinda wonderful. And I am unapologetic about that fact.
In reflection I was made for this. I nurtured baby dolls, then I nurtured young siblings. Those countless acts unrewarded and made small of.
And now I am just as responsible for preparing a healthy meal for my son, as I am preparing a healthy heart for my son. I cannot allow the cold ways of the world to take stock in me. I cannot allow the muteness of those who saw my pain and walked away anyway, to deposit bitterness into my pores. As I will give to my young what I allow to live in me.
So I listen and I act.
I keep Jill’s word close.
Moving forward, pressing onward, striving further
Keep on laughing, keep on living, keep on loving yeah
Keep on dreaming, keep on achieving, keep on believing
I keep smiling when I come thru …and I cry when I need to.
I keep being grateful… knowing that while I am alone, I am not alone. With the Lord I am never abandoned… not ever.
I keep seeing what has been placed before me and in my hands. I see the talent I possess to go to a higher place. I see those who have given of themselves to my son and to me.
I keep my hope. As long as it is alive, I will remain that way.
I keep my peace. I forgive those guilty of mistreatment so that they have no residence in my future.
I keep my health. Treating body as temple is sacred work.
I keep my creativity. To create is how I am most like God, and how I teach my child to become.
I keep fighting for and against Autism. Balancing the need for accepting my son’s present state, with anticipating the growth that is to come that I have not yet seen.
I keep being mother. This most divine title and role is my gift, that which gives and receives simultaneously. From which all life springs and sprouts, today and into continuum. That is what mother means.