5 years ago I lost 60 pounds from juicing in about 2 months. Friends and family didn’t recognize me at the end. I had multiple health issues that literally dissipated in that short time. I’m on the same journey now. Since 2012 my weight has swung widely up and down, but in total I gained back about 40 pounds of what I originally lost. With age and stress the health issues I had returned with a vengeance and with new issues. I had to do something. So I’m back on the same journey that got me such great results before, and this time I’m trying to chronicle my steps along the way. This is outside my nature, as I like to post only after I’ve gotten to a drastic change, but in the end I know it will be more beneficial to those with these same issues, or who want to take this same journey if they see the process… so reluctantly, here we go.
Today is a hard day for me, it always is. I got married on the 4th of July back in 08. In this pic taken on the 4th of July in 2013, I held a very bothered by the 98 degrees, 2 years old Caleb. I was just about to turn 40 and I was going through my divorce. I had also just lost 60 pounds. I was motivated to do that because my ex-husband told me that I was fat and that no one would ever want me.
I look at this picture in wonder now. It’s amazing how much my heart was bleeding and I was still going. Amazing how attacked I was by my ex, and by those who I once called family. I look at this picture with pride. That in spite the heartbreak, I was still handling my business, and I’ve been doing that ever since. I’m proud that I still had the courage of heart to wear a smile on my face, and that I have not darkened my heart towards people because of my experiences with a few. I’m encouraged when I look at the girl in this picture, that I can return to that weight, while still dropping the weights that so easily beset me.
I am now proclaiming some things on this very difficult day. I will have good things in life. I will love again, (I’ve never said publicly that this has been something I’ve questioned). Caleb will continue to shine and grow. And I’m not only going to be alright, but I will have a glorious end.
I’m not sure how I got though all that I’ve been through, but I did. Sometimes when I can’t quite find words that suffice, all can say is “Lord you’re a wonder!!” Thank you for keeping me then, and keeping me still.
#NeverWouldHaveMadeIt #EncourageYourself #4thOfJuly #GonnaBeAlright
There are the times when police shootings of innocent men hit us harder than others. It’s all tragic, it’s all loss, but because we’re human sometimes we’re affected with one story more than another. We have to be because taking in too much tragedy is not good for the soul.
For me it was Sean Bell, Trayvon Martin, Eric Gardner, Sandra Bland, all for different reasons, these tragedies hit me in a deep and personal place.
Now Philando Castile affects me in that same place, with the legacy of all the others behind him.
Every person who knew him called him kind, sweet, generous. I have had to go to the Father so regularly in fighting the urge to fall into a low place over his senseless death. That tragedy can strike because of an assumed threat, based on the color of your skin, even though you are kind, generous, AND innocent, is an overwhelming notion.
The boy with the disability holding the sign in the picture, says more than what is written on his board. Losing someone special to him surely hits him harder than it would most. When someone is kind when you have a need that is outside the norm, you are dealing with an extremely dear person. #Tears
Praying for his family, his friends, for our nation, and for the hearts of many like me who have been hit hard by this loss. #LetTheKindAndGenerousKeepYourHeadUp #BlackLivesMatter