Tag Archives: goals

This Valley that Appears to Be Death

this valley that appears to be death

(Found a writing from a way back)….

I was really discouraged. I felt heavy for days.

I reached out to a couple folk who couldn’t or wouldn’t understand.

There’s the mommie thing. I coddled a child who cant currently say I love you back to me. I dissected his needs discerning the difference between toddler defiance and special needs frustration, while my head ached and heart raced. I calmed screeches and screams that he uses for words, while calming the inward anxiety that they bring. We tosseled over each other living in a space not sufficient for two. Stress was high, patience was thin.

Then there were the reminders. I was reminded of a friends betrayal and judgment during my lowest of moments. I was reminded of the one who abandoned his child and left me holding the pieces.

There were questions. I asked for assistance to be told that I make too much money to qualify, this unbalancing act between not ever enough, just over completely destitute.

Then there was the ripping of heart strings. Promises made, but broken. Emotional head games and manipulations. All around me the author of confusion seemingly placing my name on the tongues of many. I was ridiculed and lied on.

Then there was the giving of myself. I was not encouraged by the people that I encouraged.
I was criticized instead of thanked for going out of my way to help.

It all caught up with me, it all began to choke me. It created physical pain throughout every extremity.

I wanted to run away. Far away from here, take a taxi cab and get away fast.

So I sat in a park before having to clock into a job that makes me just as weary as my life and I attempted to focus my thoughts long enough to pray.

Then the Holy Spirit took me to my vision. He reminded me of this thing He gave me to do. He reminded me that once I’m holding my treasure that it wont matter how long it took for me to obtain it. That the spoils would outweigh this weight, this angst that I hold today.

I saw myself with a smile on. I saw myself accomplishing the very things I prayed for. I saw a glimpse of a finish line.

I got encouraged, I got lifted. And not that get happy real quick fake kind of, quickly passing encouragement, but the long lasting power of the why of where I am.

I must continue and not throw up my hands, I cant faint now. I’m too near my goal. So for this valley that appears to be death, you are nothing more than a shadow, and just beyond you is the breaking of day.
#ImOnlyPassingThrough
#OhWhatJoyComethInMySoul

Because You Can

blessings

So at some point you have to look at what the storm says about you. When waves, and thunder and rain are crashing in repeatedly on all sides, is this maybe just maybe, a compliment to you?

If the Word says that God will not put on you more than you can bare, and you are baring a lot, then it’s because, well, you can. (Insert image of back cape blowing in the wind.)

I’m looking back. I’m looking back at a storm. The waves are starting to subside, and there are sun rays in my horizon. Some things are coming together and I see blessings. The reality though is there have been more times in the last 4 years than in the 40 years prior that I have questioned if I was going to make it through “this one”. However as raindrops begin to glisten on fresh soil, I can see now that my becoming had to happen this way. Through these raindrops.

Recently I sat in a service where the message was on perseverance. And just before I ran up out that church, (not exactly my favorite subject), the preacher really opened my eyes. He cracked open this meaning to this despised word perseverance. This word that to me always felt unfair.Why do I have to deal with suffering, why do I have to come under attacks that I didn’t deserve, why do I have to reap from what I’d never sown? These were my quiet thoughts, my quiet questions while reading scriptures on trials and tribulations mentioned in the Bible. But now I see. Perseverance is my friend, making the trial itself my friend.

Perseverance-  Per the authority of, Severance through suffering. There are some rewards that you will only get through a trial, through pain, through pushing through. Think of an athlete before the win. Without the pain of athletic training, there can be no medals at the end of the course. Think of a woman in labor. Without the pain of the stretch, the reward of life cannot come forth. The only way we get to the crown is to endure the pain. Thus the pain itself is really working for our good.

Suddenly I got some spiritual cajones to stare my trails in the eyes and have the right to claim my reward at the end of them. Those trials didn’t break me. In the words of Ms. Celie in the Color Purple, “Dear God, I’m here, I’m still here!”  I’m still standing, in my right mind, with my heart in tact, with my integrity in one piece. So attention all trials, all hardship, all pain, all false accusation, all attacks, Imma need to you write me a check. Make it out to Blessings on Blessings on Blessings, because I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.

 

Wisdoms According to DWash

“True desire in the heart for anything good is God’s proof to you, sent before hand, to indicate that it’s yours already.”
“True desire in the heart for anything good is God’s proof to you, sent before hand, to indicate that it’s yours already.”

So there are a few words in the English language that put smiles on faces. Babies. Kittens. Snowflakes. Cotton Candy. Christmas. Denzel.

There is one man who steals breath from the lungs of 3 generations of women. The word swag is defined somewhere between his walk, his voice and his smile. His talent is undeniable as he has commanded every role he has ever played like Michael Angelo commands art, and Stevie Wonder commands songs. There may be no better way to define of the word gifted than Denzel. Not that his gifts offered on stage and screen are not enough, but they happen to not be his best qualities. Mountains of women adore him because in his packaging lies a man with deep love for his wife, for his family and for his God. Amazing really.

So recently he has arisen to another level of blowing our minds. Never has salt and peppered hair been more beautiful as he encouraged doe eyed students that their future will be what they make of it during the commencement ceremony for Dillard University. Shoot I’ve got some years on these kids in the audience and I’m inspired.  He in his modesty claimed to give only 3 nuggets of power, but as in all things Denzel, he offered much more than was promised. These life tools are what Denzel broke down so it would forever be broke….

“I didnt always stick with God but He always stuck with me.”
  1. You arrive to where you are by prayer.
  2. Everything you have has been gifted to you.
  3. You arrive to your success by the support of a team.
  4. Put God first! In everything. Period.
  5. Don’t be afraid to step out and take big chances.
  6. Dreams without goals are just dreams.
  7. Don’t confuse movement with progress.
  8. Your money is not as important as your service.
  9. Be thankful.
  10. Anything you want that is good, you can have.
  11. When you arrive to your success, reach back and lift someone else up.

#Boom