Tag Archives: goals

Juicing Continues- Week 2

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My Motivation!! I started juicing in April of 2012, I weighed 196 pounds. This pic was taken about 6 months later at 140 lbs. It took me 7 weeks to loose 60 pounds!!

Ok so, this week was hard. Some things happened. Some emotional things (see more on that here), and also some practical things. On Sunday the brakes on my car failed while I was driving it. Yeah, I’ll let that sink in. Even though that was a bit of a traumatic experience I found an immediate place of gratitude that this incident did not turn out to be much worse. There could have been some broken bones, or a stay in the hospital, or much worse, like the inability to type this blog because I am no longer on the earth. Or God forbid any of those things happened to my baby boy if he’d been in the car and we were traveling at high speeds. So I dealt with that, am dealing with that. Grateful to the Lord for His protection and His covering.

The one thing I didn’t take into account was how it would affect my juice feasting. This being without my car and all. It being repaired completely stagnated my entire week. Juicing is all about routine, it’s difficult in and of itself to do while juggling a busy life. But when you throw in some major monkey wrench it can be close to impossible.  I have a whole daily plan set up, I need to stay busy at work to keep my mind off of cheese burgers. I have to in a moments notice be able to head to the grocery store when I’m out of kale. I cannot sit on the couch watching Dominoes Pizza commercials. So when you’re stuck in the house instead of on your grind it can become difficult. So I juiced for 2 ½ days instead of my goal of a full 4 days.

But instead of beating myself up that I couldn’t juice on the same level of commitment that I had last week, I did what I could and stuck to a 90% vegetarian diet the rest of the way. I’m happy to say that I maintained the weight that I’d lost last week. And I’m proud to say that this is a new way of being and thinking for me, this not beating myself up. I’m pretty Type A Personality, and if I can’t go all in, then dagnambit I’m not going to do it all. But the way my life is currently set up, that is no longer realistic to getting anything done. If I’ve got to do this whole reconfiguration of my health and body at a snail’s pace, then so be it, it will still get done. Onward and upward!! (Onward to good health, that scale aint climbing no where near upward! lol)

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Juicing Continues!! The Mean Green is the business! (Kale, celery, Fuji apples, ginger, lemon) Yum!!
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Soooo good!!
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One of my vegetarian meals. I couldn’t believe how delicious something so simple was. Green, yellow and red bell peppers, seasoning salt, seared in a skillet. It was so good I was moaning!

 

This Valley that Appears to Be Death

this valley that appears to be death

(Found a writing from a way back)….

I was really discouraged. I felt heavy for days.

I reached out to a couple folk who couldn’t or wouldn’t understand.

There’s the mommie thing. I coddled a child who cant currently say I love you back to me. I dissected his needs discerning the difference between toddler defiance and special needs frustration, while my head ached and heart raced. I calmed screeches and screams that he uses for words, while calming the inward anxiety that they bring. We tosseled over each other living in a space not sufficient for two. Stress was high, patience was thin.

Then there were the reminders. I was reminded of a friends betrayal and judgment during my lowest of moments. I was reminded of the one who abandoned his child and left me holding the pieces.

There were questions. I asked for assistance to be told that I make too much money to qualify, this unbalancing act between not ever enough, just over completely destitute.

Then there was the ripping of heart strings. Promises made, but broken. Emotional head games and manipulations. All around me the author of confusion seemingly placing my name on the tongues of many. I was ridiculed and lied on.

Then there was the giving of myself. I was not encouraged by the people that I encouraged.
I was criticized instead of thanked for going out of my way to help.

It all caught up with me, it all began to choke me. It created physical pain throughout every extremity.

I wanted to run away. Far away from here, take a taxi cab and get away fast.

So I sat in a park before having to clock into a job that makes me just as weary as my life and I attempted to focus my thoughts long enough to pray.

Then the Holy Spirit took me to my vision. He reminded me of this thing He gave me to do. He reminded me that once I’m holding my treasure that it wont matter how long it took for me to obtain it. That the spoils would outweigh this weight, this angst that I hold today.

I saw myself with a smile on. I saw myself accomplishing the very things I prayed for. I saw a glimpse of a finish line.

I got encouraged, I got lifted. And not that get happy real quick fake kind of, quickly passing encouragement, but the long lasting power of the why of where I am.

I must continue and not throw up my hands, I cant faint now. I’m too near my goal. So for this valley that appears to be death, you are nothing more than a shadow, and just beyond you is the breaking of day.
#ImOnlyPassingThrough
#OhWhatJoyComethInMySoul

Because You Can

blessings

So at some point you have to look at what the storm says about you. When waves, and thunder and rain are crashing in repeatedly on all sides, is this maybe just maybe, a compliment to you?

If the Word says that God will not put on you more than you can bare, and you are baring a lot, then it’s because, well, you can. (Insert image of back cape blowing in the wind.)

I’m looking back. I’m looking back at a storm. The waves are starting to subside, and there are sun rays in my horizon. Some things are coming together and I see blessings. The reality though is there have been more times in the last 4 years than in the 40 years prior that I have questioned if I was going to make it through “this one”. However as raindrops begin to glisten on fresh soil, I can see now that my becoming had to happen this way. Through these raindrops.

Recently I sat in a service where the message was on perseverance. And just before I ran up out that church, (not exactly my favorite subject), the preacher really opened my eyes. He cracked open this meaning to this despised word perseverance. This word that to me always felt unfair.Why do I have to deal with suffering, why do I have to come under attacks that I didn’t deserve, why do I have to reap from what I’d never sown? These were my quiet thoughts, my quiet questions while reading scriptures on trials and tribulations mentioned in the Bible. But now I see. Perseverance is my friend, making the trial itself my friend.

Perseverance-  Per the authority of, Severance through suffering. There are some rewards that you will only get through a trial, through pain, through pushing through. Think of an athlete before the win. Without the pain of athletic training, there can be no medals at the end of the course. Think of a woman in labor. Without the pain of the stretch, the reward of life cannot come forth. The only way we get to the crown is to endure the pain. Thus the pain itself is really working for our good.

Suddenly I got some spiritual cajones to stare my trails in the eyes and have the right to claim my reward at the end of them. Those trials didn’t break me. In the words of Ms. Celie in the Color Purple, “Dear God, I’m here, I’m still here!”  I’m still standing, in my right mind, with my heart in tact, with my integrity in one piece. So attention all trials, all hardship, all pain, all false accusation, all attacks, Imma need to you write me a check. Make it out to Blessings on Blessings on Blessings, because I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.