Two days ago I was troubled. It was so heavy on my spirit that so many Black men were dying young from heart complications. I felt a little strange posting about this so randomly, and without knowing the specific details of the many deaths I’ve witnessed recently. By discernment I knew that most of these deaths were heart related. That thing that ticks that makes us live is now under emotional attack as we loose another to its failings. Craig Mack succumbed to Congestive Heart Failure yesterday. You would have to be of a certain age and space to know who we lost, and how young we lost him. Praying for his family, praying that we take steps to healthy living in an effort to save our own lives. #RIP #RIPCraigMack #HealthFirst #MyPeopleParishForALackOfKnowledge
-The ability to walk away from or adjust one-sided relationships.
-Getting my baby into a fantastic school.
-My hair length goal.
-Returning to a classroom and getting an “A”.
-Being complete in my singleness and the loss of “the lonelies”.
-The beginning of my vegan journey.
-New income potential.
-Tools and support to teach and calm my special needs child.
-A renewed strength, a refocused and optimistic view of my future.
-The belief that I can overcome whatever obstacle is before me.
#TheBestYearIHaveHadInALongTime Not because I didn’t have challenges or pain, not because anything extra spectacular happened. But because God healed some things. Because I have new control over my life. Because I can hope again. Because what I changed or lost in years passed, both things and people that I walked away from long ago, the rewards for those sacrifices are now starting to show up in my life. I am excited about a new year after years and years of being somewhere between numb and depressed. I AM NOT ANYMORE! And if no one ever sees the change, I see it, I am it. And God gets ALL the glory for it! #NewHorizonsAhead #ThankYouJesus
Ok so, this week was hard. Some things happened. Some emotional things (see more on that here), and also some practical things. On Sunday the brakes on my car failed while I was driving it. Yeah, I’ll let that sink in. Even though that was a bit of a traumatic experience I found an immediate place of gratitude that this incident did not turn out to be much worse. There could have been some broken bones, or a stay in the hospital, or much worse, like the inability to type this blog because I am no longer on the earth. Or God forbid any of those things happened to my baby boy if he’d been in the car and we were traveling at high speeds. So I dealt with that, am dealing with that. Grateful to the Lord for His protection and His covering.
The one thing I didn’t take into account was how it would affect my juice feasting. This being without my car and all. It being repaired completely stagnated my entire week. Juicing is all about routine, it’s difficult in and of itself to do while juggling a busy life. But when you throw in some major monkey wrench it can be close to impossible. I have a whole daily plan set up, I need to stay busy at work to keep my mind off of cheese burgers. I have to in a moments notice be able to head to the grocery store when I’m out of kale. I cannot sit on the couch watching Dominoes Pizza commercials. So when you’re stuck in the house instead of on your grind it can become difficult. So I juiced for 2 ½ days instead of my goal of a full 4 days.
But instead of beating myself up that I couldn’t juice on the same level of commitment that I had last week, I did what I could and stuck to a 90% vegetarian diet the rest of the way. I’m happy to say that I maintained the weight that I’d lost last week. And I’m proud to say that this is a new way of being and thinking for me, this not beating myself up. I’m pretty Type A Personality, and if I can’t go all in, then dagnambit I’m not going to do it all. But the way my life is currently set up, that is no longer realistic to getting anything done. If I’ve got to do this whole reconfiguration of my health and body at a snail’s pace, then so be it, it will still get done. Onward and upward!! (Onward to good health, that scale aint climbing no where near upward! lol)