Tag Archives: neglect

Thrust in the Fire

Five years ago today I almost burned my kitchen down. I was cooking shrimp and asparagus in my Long Beach, California kitchen, then suddenly my range and cabinet were on fire. It’s amazing how quickly this thing grew. After I put the fire out on the stove top, something told me to open up the top cabinet. I’m very clear what that “something” was, no one but the Holy Spirit would have given me that nudge. All in a matter of seconds the fire grew inside the cabinet, it caught my oil bottle on fire, and began to quickly grow up the fan pipes above the stove. Another five minutes the entire internal wall would have been ablaze, then the whole kitchen, then the whole condo.

As the fire department arrived I stood outside with a 1 year old Caleb on my hip shaking from what could have happened. This was a very strange time in life for me as I’d been separated from my husband for only about 3 weeks.  I called him to tell him what had happened. I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked to receive a very casual unconcerned response from him but I was shocked nonetheless. You would think that I called about a paper cut and not that his son and wife were just in a situation that could have risked life and limb. He is now my ex-husband.

I was thrust into the fire so to speak that day.  I knew that my marriage was over, but I did not know that I would no longer have a father for my son, this day was the first sign to this reality. As the fire department used heavy machines to push the smoke smell from my home, and I wiped down heavy soot from ceiling and cabinets, I was taking the first steps to heavy heart cleaning as well.

Two things I took from this experience.  1.) Do not store your oil or grease above your stove and oven.  2.) No matter what is on fire in my life, I can overcome it.

Fires are messy and unexpected when they happen. But in the end they leave room for new growth and they tend to form diamonds. I’m just sayin.


The Art of Praying for Those Who’ve Hurt You, This Significance on Father’s Day

I wrote this last Father’s Day in 2014. I have to say I’m struggling with it more than I was this time last year. But it doesn’t make it any less true or prevalent.


If you’re like me, this scripture gets on your nerves. This whole praying for your enemies thing. Oops, yes I said it. There are some texts that don’t always sit well with us… at least at first glance.

enemiesThe definition of an enemy is “one who fosters harmful designs against another.” Based on this definition, many of us can place this title very comfortably upon the man who fathered our children or fathered us. The idea of taking your precious time, breath and energy to go before the Father to petition for someone who’s harmed or abused you is not the best idea of a good time.

However I found myself early Saturday morning with a heavy burden to pray for my ex-husband, the absentee father to my first born and only son. This urge was so strong, I could feel the level of his need and his pain so strongly, I forgot all about what he’d put me through. I forgot all about the moments great and insignificant that he’d missed with my son since last Father’s Day. I just prayed for him. Then something happened… I felt free-er.

The pressing in to consider what he was going through caused me to know that what I was going through would be handled. Not at all justifying his absence or neglect of my young child, but the understanding that God will fill in the gaps from this man’s shortcomings.

As I rise today on Father’s Day, I am reminded of those who are raising children without any help from the father who helped bring those children here. I am reminded of those who themselves had no father present physically or emotionally during their developing years. I am reminded of those who were neglected, harmed or abused by the first man who should have loved and protected them.

Know this, if you choose to pray for your child’s neglectful father, you can only accumulate more of what you need to raise that child. If you choose to pray for the father who abandoned you, you can only attract more of what you need to fill the gaps that he left. In praying for him you are really benefiting yourself.