I am having a moment. When you’re dealing with something super challenging, you don’t know what will break you down. I came across this post from one year ago when I shared that the amazingly talented and anointed gospel singer Jonathan McReynolds retweeted my tweet. It was a moment when my son Caleb, who is overly and non-stop active, stopped to listen to him sing. It was a beautiful moment, remembering it now, it still is. But what got me in remembering this time last year is that my baby, my heartbeat, my reason, has not spoken a word since. He is still non-verbal, and actually has not spoken more than 5 words in his lifetime, and not a single word since in 2014. Along with so many challenges while living with Autism, this non-verbal thing is scientifically called Apraxia, which is the inability to speak. Our lives are full, busy, stressful, non-stop, and more challenging than most families. I don’t cry very often at all. I think I’m part too busy to wallow, and part too numb to form tears. I see my child everyday obviously, but it’s days like this that catch me off guard as I catch tears falling from my eyes. I’m a writer and I usually end on an uplifting note, in this moment, all I have is tears. Pray for us please, in the meantime while I’m wiping these tears away, I will continue to be Caleb’s voice.
Ok so, this week was hard. Some things happened. Some emotional things (see more on that here), and also some practical things. On Sunday the brakes on my car failed while I was driving it. Yeah, I’ll let that sink in. Even though that was a bit of a traumatic experience I found an immediate place of gratitude that this incident did not turn out to be much worse. There could have been some broken bones, or a stay in the hospital, or much worse, like the inability to type this blog because I am no longer on the earth. Or God forbid any of those things happened to my baby boy if he’d been in the car and we were traveling at high speeds. So I dealt with that, am dealing with that. Grateful to the Lord for His protection and His covering.
The one thing I didn’t take into account was how it would affect my juice feasting. This being without my car and all. It being repaired completely stagnated my entire week. Juicing is all about routine, it’s difficult in and of itself to do while juggling a busy life. But when you throw in some major monkey wrench it can be close to impossible. I have a whole daily plan set up, I need to stay busy at work to keep my mind off of cheese burgers. I have to in a moments notice be able to head to the grocery store when I’m out of kale. I cannot sit on the couch watching Dominoes Pizza commercials. So when you’re stuck in the house instead of on your grind it can become difficult. So I juiced for 2 ½ days instead of my goal of a full 4 days.
But instead of beating myself up that I couldn’t juice on the same level of commitment that I had last week, I did what I could and stuck to a 90% vegetarian diet the rest of the way. I’m happy to say that I maintained the weight that I’d lost last week. And I’m proud to say that this is a new way of being and thinking for me, this not beating myself up. I’m pretty Type A Personality, and if I can’t go all in, then dagnambit I’m not going to do it all. But the way my life is currently set up, that is no longer realistic to getting anything done. If I’ve got to do this whole reconfiguration of my health and body at a snail’s pace, then so be it, it will still get done. Onward and upward!! (Onward to good health, that scale aint climbing no where near upward! lol)
5 years ago I lost 60 pounds from juicing in about 2 months. Friends and family didn’t recognize me at the end. I had multiple health issues that literally dissipated in that short time. I’m on the same journey now. Since 2012 my weight has swung widely up and down, but in total I gained back about 40 pounds of what I originally lost. With age and stress the health issues I had returned with a vengeance and with new issues. I had to do something. So I’m back on the same journey that got me such great results before, and this time I’m trying to chronicle my steps along the way. This is outside my nature, as I like to post only after I’ve gotten to a drastic change, but in the end I know it will be more beneficial to those with these same issues, or who want to take this same journey if they see the process… so reluctantly, here we go.